A blog dedicated to all things smutty and Beatles related.

Might be gone for a bit but I’ll be back when I can. 


thevelvelettes said: Imagine John in leather pants, you know, like the ones Jim Morrison wore. Jesus Lennon, I shouldn't do this to myself.

Like the Teddy boy pants? Yee-um.

thevelvelettes said: I'm upset that John isn't here because I really want to know we would of got along well. And bang his brains out, obviously. I think we would have a laugh but I'd go on and on and probably bore him to death.

It’s like you’re reading straight fron a fairytale.

Anonymous said: do you watch cilla?

Idk what that is.

Anonymous said: Do you like watching youtubers?


Anonymous said: This was part 7 of NIL, but I think you might have forgotten to tag it. beatlesmut(.)tumblr(.)com/post/87106256968/new-in-liverpool-chapter

Okey dokey, artichoke, thanks-a-rooni.

Anonymous said: (Bad) People who you shouldn't be attracted to but are? Like serial killers ect

Well, I guess I always thought that Ted Bundy cleaned up nicely, you know? When he wasn’t off luring young women into his car for brutal, inhumane rapes and murders that is… Serial killers don’t exactly get ma loins a-quiverin’ tbh but then again that’s just me being all conservative and vanilla as per usual. I tend to prefer wearing the metaphorical, homicidal trousers in the relationship. I’m interested in serial killers from a psychological point of view but that’s it really. I’m probably not gonna be skipping the club for the local prison next time I’m wanting a hook-up. I like good boys exclusively, ones who keep their noses clean, their stockings straight and their hands down my trousers.

Anonymous said: Do you know who christoph waltz is? He's a sexy bastard.

You just told me who he is, a sexy bastard. I had an exam at school where I had to have a series of complicated conversations with an examiner (who I’d never met before) in French, I had watched Inglorious bastards a few nights before, knew only very basic French and was absolutely shitting all over myself. Anyway I’m left alone in this tiny cupboard of a room when in walks the examiner I’m about to start bullshitting. An examiner who was honestly the long-lost fucking twin of Christoph Waltz. I felt so freaked out trying to convince him I spoke French because I kept imaging him in the nazi outfit from that fucking movie. It was just like the scene in the movie where the Jewish lady who owned the cinema had to talk to him in French. Except I’m not Jewish.

Anonymous said: Who would you rather date, Jake Bugg or Alex Turner? Paul or John? Bob Dylan or Jimmy Hendrix? You look a lot like Jenny Boyd since you dyed your hair. <333

Jake Bugg for sure, I feel like he’d be better in bed, plus I went off the Arctic Monkeys a while back when Josh Homme helped them pee all over everything that made them unique. Still love their second album like it’s a family member but their latest stuff ain’t my bag. Plus I have a thing for old Bugs anyway, the accent, the hair, the lyrics and catchy as shit tunes? Yes, yes to all that. I’m going to go with John here, sorry Paul. I’ll probably end up sleeping with you eventually too, if John starts running around on me with a certain, Japanese, Avant-guard artist. Probs Dylan because he’s like Jesus to me but I feel like Jimi could score better drugs than Bobby. And can you imagine tripping out, stoned off your tits and listening to him absolutely going fucking insane on the guitar, right in front of you? Plus he had amazing style and taste in clothes that you could borrow and never give back. Heard he was hung like a bull too. Still, I can’t really see him in a fanciable way. He’s Jimi Hendrix! And really? That’s cool, don’t see it myself though.

Anonymous said: sorry, but I feel like I really need to say this, you are so pretty im infuriating with jelousy. Please let me be you <3

Nah, I look like a really tall, lanky version one of those weird troll dolls, man. I’m more than happy to trade faces with you. I’ll grab the scalpel, you grab the stapler and the hot-glue gun. You are really too sweet though and you made me smile and feel all gorgeous for a second, so, thanks, bud. I’ll make sure you get into Heaven.