Beatlesmut

A blog dedicated to all things smutty and Beatles related.

Anonymous asked: i thought lennon said most of us were born out of a bottle of whisky on a saturday night?oh and the fellah who john battered cos of the comment about him and brian was bob wooler cavern DJ btw

Are you American? I’ve never seen anyone us the word fella with an ‘h’ and it seems a very American thing to do, I didn’t think who he was was really relevant to the fact that John hit him - which is what I was talking about, I think. He isn’t exactly “well known” or anything, is he? Especially not in regard to the Beatles. I figured “some fella” would suffice rather than looking up some obscure name of some random DJ from fifty years ago that John happened to punch on Paul’s bithday. Were I there at the time in person with my hello kitty notepad and my prettiest set of pink pencils, I probably would have scribbled it all down properly and perhaps have even asked him for confirmation that that is what he indeed said. However I think I was occupied elsewhere at that point in history - busy being a sperm cell in my grandfather’s testicles, most likely. 

Anonymous asked: What's your favorite beatles sex song?

'Come Together' is a great piece of advice/ song to listen to whilst shagging. 

beatlebeatgirl asked: ... And then you both jump at the loud sound of a bang on the door and the pint-boy racing into the bathroom. "PAUL! YER HAMSTER'S GOT HERPES!" You stifle a laugh, while backing away from Paul, calling it a close call. Your eyes turn towards the boy that had suddenly hurried in, confused as to what he was doing in there in the first. Paul instantly broke out into a scolding, "This is your fault! Look at 'er! She's drippin', John!" Paul pointed a finger, John following it and giving you a grin...

Paul and John in a bathroom, eh? I like where this is going. 

Anonymous asked: I had a Forrest Gump type dream the other night. Ringo was Forrest, George was Bubba, Paul was Forrest's ma, and John was Lieutenant Dan. And I was a Morgan Freeman type narrator who followed them around the whole time.

Your subconscious should become a casting director, Dear God. John as Lt. Dan and Ringo as Forrest is perfection. George as Bubba is funny because you remember how Bubba kept going on about different types of carp or something? “There’s this type of carp and that kind of carp and you can use it for…” and he’d just go on and on and on. That could be George when he first became enamored with eastern religion and used to talk everyone’s ears off about it. I love Morgan Freeman so much. Just throwing that on the table. And of course Paul was the Mum, isn’t he always? That’s what he gets for being so delicately beautiful. 

Anonymous asked: What are your thoughts on the comment John made about Julian saying that he was born out of a bottle of whiskey

I think it’s an awful thing for anyone to say about a child. I think he probably said it without thinking or when he was in one of his infamous ‘moods.’ It’s well know that Julian wasn’t planned and to hear that his own father said that about him must have been devastating. I’ve heard people say worse about their kids though. John was quite insensitive at times and had a tendency to say what he meant rather than to dance around with trivialities and bullshit so I’m not surprised that he would say something like that. I doubt he meant it to sound as ugly and as harsh as it does.

Anonymous asked: You're getting high and watching help? I'm getting high and watching a hard day's night!

My plans have changed. I’ve decided to watch ‘The Wizard of Oz’ and listen to Pink Floyd’s ‘Dark Side of The Moon’ at the same time and see how well they sync up. I’ve always wanted to try it stoned. Afterwards I’m watching ‘Help!’ and crying over John as I dig into a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. 

beatlebeatgirl asked: ... His breath shudders against the your face and you can smell the cigarette smoke in its flavour. He continues to stare; his doe eyes already drooping as they lower their gaze to your lips. You didn't realize you were holding in a breath until you could hear yourself release it; a shaky wave of air that tasted of cinnamon to him. He brought the towel from your face and threw it back on the bench, his eyes never leaving their marked designation. He leans in, edging closer to you...

Mild heart attack being had…please do go on.

Anonymous asked: Do you like the Who?

Do I, do I, like the Who?

Why, yes, my dear, yes, yes, I do. 

Anonymous asked: Whenever I'm sad I like to imagine '64 Ringo and George dancing around in their boxers to Hotel California while attempting to cook and ending up making a mess of the kitchen. Idk I felt like sharing that.

This mental image will sustain me through this long, lonesome Friday night, getting stoned by myself and watching ‘Help!” 

Anonymous asked: """Ask me about ‘New In Liverpool’ and I will eat your first born child.""" Excuse me while I die of laughter.

No, but listen, it’ll be up this weekend, before Easter Sunday. I swear on the first born child belonging to the next anon who’s baby I may or may not have to devour.